Mercy and Anna Grace

I thank God for Anna Grace Bentley. She has been testifying of God's mercy for as long as I've known her name. Now, at just over a week old, she amazes everyone who has been touched by her life. Anna Grace is recovering from open heart surgery at MUSC in Charleston with her precious parents waiting and watching to spend every moment they can with her. Each hour is critical right now. We are praying for you, Anna Grace. Thank you for allowing God to use you to reach a lost and dying world. You give me hope.

Visit Anna Grace through the blogs and twitters of her mom and dad. Thank you Brian and Tina for sharing intimate and painful details with so many. You exemplify courage.

"Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy." 1 Corinthians 4:1,2

The Wisdom of God: Part 1

Since mid November when I found out I was pregnant, I have been sick. Early on, it was very severe, but it has since tapered off into general yucks and bouts of indigestion. It is not uncommon to be starving and yet the thought of food sends me running to the commode. Whatever. It happens to a lot of people, right? To be honest, I have been through something similar with all my pregnancies. What makes this one different? I think it has to do with the fact that this time around I feel that my life has been rendered completely and hopelessly ineffective.

Homeschooling was going well. Church was going well. Blog-posting was going well. Ministry was going well. And somewhere deep down, I knew that being pregnant would be the ultimate test of my willingness and ability to trust God. There's where I made my mistake. Because everything was going well, and I had great expectations of passing the trust test, I fell hard. So hard, in fact, that I have developed intense sensitivities and phobias that I have never experienced before.

What I've learned is that the real test of trusting God is not about proving it easier to deal with the difficult substance of life, but rather accepting the fact that I still fall and then repenting and starting again. Believing again.

What is a shadowland?

Certainly, we could all find an appropriate definition for "shadowland." For some, a shadowland might be a place of protection--Psalm 91:1 comes to mind:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty."

For others, a shadowland may be a cold, dismal place where the sun seems not to shine. Both of these explanations have served to describe my shadowland at any given time, but the truth is that even in the darkest of places, He still reigns. In those cold, lonely moments or even panic-stricken, frustrated moments, we are not outside of His shelter.

Look around you, these are the shadowlands. From the very best, most beautiful, perfection of things to the ugliest, most terrifying and disasterous, tsunami-type moments of life, God is there. And He knows and purposes all things to His glory.

In our limited understanding of time and life, we know only part of the truth of God. While we can only see glimpses of God's glory surrounding us, we are also protected from seeing the full spiritual battle that wages against sin and evil. Thank God for His shadow.

"For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away." 1 Corin. 13:9,10