Living in the Shadowlands

Wagon Fun

2012-01-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

I finally got the kids outside for some "planned" pics. It is strange how difficult it is to get these. So, I am very thankful for the saved moments! Happy New Year!

Embracing Williamsburg

2011-10-13T19:10:00.001-07:00

We have had a most excellent visit to VA this week. What began as an opportunity to vacate SC and capitalize on the possibilities of homeschooling, soon morphed into precious moments of fellowship with dear friends. The Lowes were our seminary friends and next-door neighbors in NC. Our kids were best friends at the time, but couldn't even remember each other upon introductions--it's been nearly ten years! Regardless, they had a ball together. And most of them had never met--a combined ten kids! The Shifferts came to stay a night in our luxury accommodations (no kidding--this place has been great), bringing along their K5 son, Cailean. We first met in Florida, and last saw them a year ago living in SC just up the road from us. But the Lord called them away to the ministry of the DC metro area. How we've missed that time with these friends!

Today we spent the afternoon touring colonial Williamsburg. We ran out of time--frankly, didn't plan it very well. If you visit the area, be sure to keep in mind that the stuff closes at five. We also got stuck under an oak tree during a sudden downpour. We made out ok, albeit a little damp. But despite all this, we enjoyed ourselves, visited a few shops (the printer/bookbinding shop was my favorite), saw some shows, and went home with a collection of souvenirs.

Tomorrow, we depart. I haven't seen my college roommate in close to eight years. She is a wonderful friend and lives just north of here, so, of course, we are heading there next. I can't wait! She also has five children, three of whom I have never met. And our last day of traveling, before heading home, will hopefully have us meeting up with Mike's brother's family--some more Kuckels! We have missed our little nephew especially, as it has been several years since we last saw him.

So, I chronicle these escapades mostly for myself. To remember the special, out-of-the-ordinary moments of life. I give God the glory for lasting friendships, and the continuous hope that I am reminded of when I share in others' lives. I am so thankful to serve a God of such grace.

First and Ten...

2011-08-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

We've had a special month of celebrating all the boys' birthdays. David Andrew hit the year-mark and Benny and Joey made it to double digits. It's not been my best year for cake...Davy got a banana muffin, and the boys got...well, nothing, actually. I still haven't gotten around to making them cupcakes. And I don't even have any pictures from their birthday! Children can be very forgiving.

Here are some great cakes from the past. I used to put so much time into birthday cake! I am afraid laziness has taken over. Or age. Or number of kids?!

It is well

2011-07-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

This was a day like no other. July 10, 2011. Redemption!

Kuckel Countdown

2011-07-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

As all Americans celebrate a national birthday and our precious freedom, the Kuckels are celebrating a few other noteworthy events.

Bella, on her own, prayed to God to forgive her sins. She later told us that she had been doing this during "nap time" while laying in her bed. We weren't sure what to make of it. This is something we have prayed for as a family for years. I know that she has wanted to believe, but there was a lack of faith holding her back. As she once told me in the kitchen, she believed in Jesus, but how could she believe since she couldn't see him? How sweet that the Holy Spirit brought her to understanding on her own. She joyfully announced to me, "I am a Christian, now!" Next week, her daddy will get to baptize her.

The same week, we will also get to celebrate David Andrew's first year of life. I haven't decided what to do yet, but he seems to enjoy Pooh and Eeyore from his board books. We will see what they look like on homemade cake...

And if that's not enough, we will celebrate Ben and Joey's big day on the 20th! Lot's of pics coming soon...

Priceless

2011-05-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

Making Memories

2011-05-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

***************
my prayer is that
you would always
be
the very best of
friends;
and that your differences would bind you
together
like the patches of a handmade quilt-
as beautiful as it is unique.

The Full Counsel

2011-04-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

I have been studying through John as part of a church-wide focus on using the SOAP method of Bible study. It is a great method, but it doesn't work so well for me. I found myself getting psyched out by the writing that was involved, not to mention the reading. I mean, it's great to read a whole chapter in Exodus, but when you're reading John, it's nice just to stop and reflect. I make it through about half a chapter, and then I read it again and meditate on it.

It troubles me how people take John out of context. Here is a book that must be read carefully in its entirety. Pulling out one verse or section and hanging all of your theology on that denigrates the purpose of the author and the Author. To illustrate, of course, I have to pull out individual verses, but don't believe a word I say if you haven't read the whole book of John for yourself! It is spoken and written in figures of speech which must be carefully and prayerfully understood through the power of the Holy Spirit of God. Figures of speech can and will be misunderstood because there is a deeper intended meaning than the words portray. Jesus himself tells the disciples in chapter 16, "These things I have spoken to you in figurative language; an hour is coming when I will speak no more to you in figurative language, but will tell you plainly of the Father." v.25. You could take that to mean the things that Jesus had just spoken to his disciples as He foretold His death and resurrection prior to verse 25, and that would be accurate, but clearly there are other "parables" that Jesus speaks in John where He relies on the figurative language to relay the weight of His message.

"Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up." 2:19

"...unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." 3:3

"...whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst..." 4:14

"For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven, and gives life to the world." 6:33

"He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him." 6:56

"You shall seek Me, and shall not find Me; and where I am, you cannot come." 7:34

"If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink." 7:37

"I am the light of the world..." 8:12

"...and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." 8:32

"...if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death." 8:51

"If you were blind, you would have no sin; but since you say, 'We see,' your sin remains." 9:41

"I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved..." 10:9

"I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep." 10:11

"...Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I go, that I may awaken him out of sleep." 11:11

"He who loves his life loses it; and he who hates his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal." 12:25

"If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me." 13:8

"I will not leave you as orphans..." 14:18

"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser...and you are the branches..." 15:1,5

"A little while, and you will no longer behold Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me." 16:16

Don't take my word for it, take the Word's word for it. English is a plain language. I wish I could understand the original Greek to really enjoy the fullness of Jesus' words. In China, I had a friend whose mother said my face was a lovely apple. Her compliment was so much more special than if she had simply said she liked my face. But, surely, I could take it the wrong way, too. Who wants to look like an apple anyway?

Consider how John maintains the accuracy of the account, while transcribing the allegorical effect that depicts the heavenly nature of Christ. His words came from the Father, and they are full of wisdom and truth.

David Andrew is Six Months Old Today!!

2011-01-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

I just noticed what the date is today. It is a wonderful marker of what the Lord has done. I wanted to post quickly before I forgot and while I have a few minutes before daddy and the kids get back from sledding.

A moment of reflection is priceless.

How We're "Dew"ing--Christmas 2010

2010-12-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

Dearest Loved Ones,

Thanks for visiting the blog and indulging us in our effort to conserve and simplify. This post is our official Christmas letter. We rejoice in God's mercy and grace at the close of 2010! Baby Dew has brought us such unimaginable joy and pleasure. Here's a recap of the last year.

In November 2009, Mike took a job at our church as Stewardship Pastor. He was ordained at the end of the month, and on the same day we found out about our new blessing. Of course, blessings often come in a mixed bag as was the case for me. The sickness was the worst I have experienced with any of my pregnancies, and the pregnancy itself was very different from the ones before. So, in summary, new job, new pregnancy, new sickness, homeschooling...you get the idea.

I started to feel better around February, and we were able to make it down to Florida for our annual Detroit Tigers Spring Training trip. Many thanks to my dear in-laws who make it possible for us to go.

The heat of summer rolled in like a freight train and I am pretty sure I didn't leave the house for 2 months--except for doctors' visits. As a matter of fact, I hardly left the couch. I was carrying 60 extra pounds and it was hot. On July 11, 2010, at Greer Memorial Hospital, we welcomed little David Andrew. Well, I use the term "little" loosely since he was a whopping 9 pounds, 7 ounces! He made a dramatic entrance as he had tied a knot in his umbilical cord and then wrapped it twice around his neck. Not only that, but on day 2 he was transported to Greenville Memorial for tests relating to pneumonia. Thankfully, he never developed pneumonia, but we spent 4 days there trying to convince the hospital that our baby was not sick**rolling eyes**

Well, that brings us back to a new school year, a new baby, and a new year just around the corner. Bella started Kindergarten and has beautiful handwriting which she gets from her Daddy. Ben and Joey are inquisitive and imaginative 4th graders who will soon build us a new car out of Legos. Most likely, it will run better than the van we're driving now. Mikayla is a brilliant 6th grader, and she has started ice skating lessons for the first time this year. It is something she has always wanted to do, and she spends a lot of time practicing at home. You probably never realized how well a kitchen floor works as an ice rink.

Mike's position at the church has brought him joy upon joy, but, as with all blessings, it has come in a mixed bag with sorrows, trials, and testing. God has blessed him with leadership and discernment. You guessed it, another mixed bag. I am so thankful for the love of my husband and his mixed bag. And I think he is thankful for mine (most of the time.) These mixed blessings define us and refine us. They sanctify us before a Holy God if we let them. But we first have to give up the control that we really don't have in the first place and allow Jesus to re-define us. Jesus Christ is God in flesh. And the only reason that God took on flesh and lived among us was to unite us to Him. We are separated from Him by our sin. He took our sin upon Himself in His death, and rose from the dead to bring us victory. He is a Living Savior. His Law is written on our hearts, and yet we break it every day. There is no life apart from Christ. I hope that you believe these words, but if you don't, repent (acknowledge that you are a sinner and need to be saved from your sin) and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ! "Though He was in the form of God, [He] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:6-8

David Andrew is such a gift to our family. The big kids have loved him from the first day they heard of him, and I can't be more thankful for that. But most of all, I am thankful for a God who is faithful when I am not, and One who has given me everything that I never asked for. This year, I hope to be more intent on giving God control. I am certain He knows better than me.

Already December??

2010-11-16T10:04:00.000-08:00

This blog post was in the works for several months. September 22 was my sweet Bella's birthday. Six years old and no longer the baby of the family! Thanks be to God for this precious, lively, smart, beautiful and opinionated kindergartener:)

Beach Fun

2010-10-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

Our few days at the beach were such a blessing to our family. Mike will leave October 19th for East Asia, and we will miss him terribly! I think the kids really enjoyed the vacation, too, since we haven't seen the beach for a few years, and they have mostly been cooped up in the house for the entire summer. The weather was perfect and the waves were grand. Thanks, Bethany, Courtney and Mom for giving us a place to relax!

When Does a Blog Become a Scrapbook?

2010-09-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

When all the posts are pictures! Sometimes I'm a writer--other times I'm a photographer. Can't be both at the same time!

Turn Back the Clock

2010-09-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

I finally figured out how to download pictures from an obsolete cell phone. One of me, baby, and my mom. The other of me seeing Dew off in the infant transporter to Greenville Memorial NICU.

I was all smiles for the first and all tears for the second. What a difference one day can make!

Photos by Mom

2010-08-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

David Andrew-6 weeks

Don't Forget the Twins

2010-08-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

I unintentionally forgot to post about the boys' birthday. Their big day was actually the day after my due date. So, on Tuesday, July 20, 2010, we celebrated our twins' 9th birthday at Chuck E Cheese. Yes, baby had his first CEC experience, too.

I hope Ben and Joey enjoyed their day. I hope they know how special and important they are even when their birthday falls eight days after Mom has a baby. I hope they know that every new year we celebrate is another wonderful blessing to Mike and me. I hope...

I love you, precious boys. Unfortunately, I lost my pictures of my boys when my new phone bit the dust (the pictures were on it.) I do have a video that Mikayla took, but I don't know how to attach it:) Maybe later.

Looking Back

2010-08-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

The last three weeks have been wonderful and emotionally draining. I feel like I have run a marathon, but honestly, I don't think I could run across the yard if I tried. David Andrew (or "Dew" for short) is such a blessing to our family, but the new routine, or lack of one altogether, is taking its toll on everyone!

In the midst of adjusting to a new baby, my oldest baby has gone to camp for the week! She has rarely even spent the night away, and at the last minute we decided this opportunity would be good for her. She had a tough time deciding whether or not to go, but in the end I don't think she wanted to miss out on the experience.

He is here!

2010-07-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

David Andrew Fitzgerald Kuckel was born on July 11, 2010 at Greer Memorial Hospital at 1:45 pm. He weighed in at an astonishing 9 lbs 7 oz (although I wasn't too surprised...) and measured 22 inches.

At this point, 5 days after his birth, David Andrew is doing great. There were some initial complications, though, that had him being transported to the Greenville Memorial NICU on day two. At birth, he had a true knot in his cord which was itself wrapped twice around his neck. In addition, the stress must have brought on the meconium in the amniotic fluid. Amazingly, by the grace of God, he was able to be born naturally and quickly. He was well-suctioned and seemed to be adjusting just fine to life on the outside.

The next morning, it was decided that he was breathing too rapidly and a chest X ray was ordered which alerted the doctors and nurses to the possibility of pneumonia. The decisions were made, the transport team from Greenville was sent, and I was prepared to be discharged. I have to admit, my hopes were dashed, and I felt completely lost at that moment. I thank God, however, as He used this opportunity to remind me that He is sovereign. I also thank my husband who reminded me that our first responsibility is to bring glory to God in the way we approach our trials.

We are so thankful for friends and family who have shown such support to pray, bring meals, send notes and flowers, and even visit-- like my dear friend Tina in the picture above. We also enjoyed visits on Sunday from my mom, dad, sisters, and brother and his family. David Andrew was discharged from the NICU on Thursday afternoon with no pneumonia! To God be the glory!

Here is Mike on baby's first day home!

Baby is Getting Close...

2010-06-22T15:47:00.001-07:00

My amazing friend, Tina, threw a special shower for me. It was such a fun, sweet time with lots of friends and family. My professional photographer for the morning was none other than Mikayla!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-21T16:25:00.001-07:00

A Spring Birthday

2010-05-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

We enjoyed celebrating Mikayla's 11th birthday on Tuesday. She requested decorate-your-own cupcakes and root beer floats. We were all bouncing off the walls by the end of the evening...

What a blessing she has been to us! She is excited about the new baby, too. I know she will be such a big helper and will love her baby brother.

Family Togetherness

2010-04-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the Lego store in Orlando (with Lego Indiana Jones)...

...and making Resurrection cookies at home!

Happy Easter!

The Cost of Following Christ

2010-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

Mike shared this one with me. If you have the time, it is worth a listen.

Mercy and Anna Grace

2010-01-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

I thank God for Anna Grace Bentley. She has been testifying of God's mercy for as long as I've known her name. Now, at just over a week old, she amazes everyone who has been touched by her life. Anna Grace is recovering from open heart surgery at MUSC in Charleston with her precious parents waiting and watching to spend every moment they can with her. Each hour is critical right now. We are praying for you, Anna Grace. Thank you for allowing God to use you to reach a lost and dying world. You give me hope.

Visit Anna Grace through the blogs and twitters of her mom and dad. Thank you Brian and Tina for sharing intimate and painful details with so many. You exemplify courage.

"Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy." 1 Corinthians 4:1,2

The Wisdom of God: Part 1

2010-01-06T13:40:00.000-08:00

Since mid November when I found out I was pregnant, I have been sick. Early on, it was very severe, but it has since tapered off into general yucks and bouts of indigestion. It is not uncommon to be starving and yet the thought of food sends me running to the commode. Whatever. It happens to a lot of people, right? To be honest, I have been through something similar with all my pregnancies. What makes this one different? I think it has to do with the fact that this time around I feel that my life has been rendered completely and hopelessly ineffective.

Homeschooling was going well. Church was going well. Blog-posting was going well. Ministry was going well. And somewhere deep down, I knew that being pregnant would be the ultimate test of my willingness and ability to trust God. There's where I made my mistake. Because everything was going well, and I had great expectations of passing the trust test, I fell hard. So hard, in fact, that I have developed intense sensitivities and phobias that I have never experienced before.

What I've learned is that the real test of trusting God is not about proving it easier to deal with the difficult substance of life, but rather accepting the fact that I still fall and then repenting and starting again. Believing again.

What is a shadowland?

2010-01-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

Certainly, we could all find an appropriate definition for "shadowland." For some, a shadowland might be a place of protection--Psalm 91:1 comes to mind:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty."

For others, a shadowland may be a cold, dismal place where the sun seems not to shine. Both of these explanations have served to describe my shadowland at any given time, but the truth is that even in the darkest of places, He still reigns. In those cold, lonely moments or even panic-stricken, frustrated moments, we are not outside of His shelter.

Look around you, these are the shadowlands. From the very best, most beautiful, perfection of things to the ugliest, most terrifying and disasterous, tsunami-type moments of life, God is there. And He knows and purposes all things to His glory.

In our limited understanding of time and life, we know only part of the truth of God. While we can only see glimpses of God's glory surrounding us, we are also protected from seeing the full spiritual battle that wages against sin and evil. Thank God for His shadow.

"For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away." 1 Corin. 13:9,10

Free Grace

2009-12-07T15:35:00.000-08:00

igracemusic has some wonderful hymns and praise songs. Here's a demo I picked: Free Grace

And on that "note," by God's grace we have baby number five on the way! Here's to a full quiver...

Ordination

2009-11-20T07:47:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to mention that there will be a special ordination service for Mike and two other men at church this Sunday night as they are ordained into ministry. We are so thankful for this opportunity. It will be something to remember as part of building a heritage of faith by the grace and mercy of our Lord.

If you would like to view the service, it should broadcast online at 5:55pm on Sunday, November 22. Here is a link to view it here.
If you have trouble, try this and click the box at the bottom right hand corner. You do have to sign up for LIVE viewing access.

Blessings to you and thanks for you prayers!

Selfish Sacrifice

2009-10-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

Naaman was man whom God chose to redeem. He was a valiant warrior, a highly respected army captain, and a leper. He was also an Aramean and an enemy of Israel and God. His physical brokenness led him to seek the prophet Elisha. When this commander of the army finally humbled himself to obey Elisha’s unusual command, “his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.” (2 Kings 5:14) Namaan’s brokenness in body directed him toward humility of spirit, which, in turn, brought him to restoration of body and soul. He said to Elisha, “Behold now, I know that there is no God in all the earth, but in Israel…” (v. 15)

Elisha refused any gifts from Namaan, but rather sent him on his way. Elisha’s servant Gehazi, however, decided that Naaman was indebted to Elisha. Gehazi’s heart was hardened, and the lies of pride and deception directed him to dishonor his master. He went out to Namaan and lied to him about needing some of the gifts that he had offered earlier. Gehazi thought he was doing what was best for Elisha, his master, but he was actually only seeking to serve himself. He wanted the goods, not Elisha. Because of his disobedience, Gehazi and his descendents took on the leprosy of Namaan forever. Broken because of pride. In my estimation, he is better off to be humbled and cursed for the rest of his earthly life than to live pridefully and separated from God for eternity.

In Matthew 9, Jesus said, “But go and learn what this means, ‘I desire compassion, and not sacrifice,’ for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (v. 13) “Sacrifice” in this respect refers to good work which would ultimately serve oneself. The “righteous” refers to the prideful. These words of the Lord originate in 1 Samuel 15 when He directs Saul to “utterly destroy” the Amalekites and all their possessions. “But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that was good, and were not willing to destroy them utterly; but everything despised and worthless, that they utterly destroyed.” (v. 9) Notice that Saul was not willing to obey God. He also excused his disobedience by sacrificing to the Lord from the choicest of spoils taken from the Amalekites. This is the crux of the problem of pride, and it grieves God. He spoke through the prophet Samuel in verses 22-23, “Has the Lord as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has also rejected you from being king.”

“Break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord until He comes to rain righteousness on you.” Hosea 10:12

Changes

2009-10-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

A change in the weather has coincided with a change in our lives. Mike started a new job as Associate Pastor of Stewardship and Administration at our church, First Baptist North Spartanburg. We are excited about the possibilities in ministry.

Now that hubs is not working at home anymore, we have a vacant seat on the "Cool Bus." Anyone??

Justice Personified

2009-10-07T20:10:00.000-07:00

We cannot understand the fullness of Grace without first knowing Justice. Picture Justice as the balance that holds the Law. When the measure of a man's heart is placed in the other side, the weight of sin nearly unhinges fair Justice. There is absolutely nothing that any man can do to level the scales. Many attempts were made to set the balance in order with the blood sacrifice of animals, but this merely set Justice to rocking. Then Grace came. Unmerited favor. For those of us that have been or will be called, God's Grace flows freely upon the scales of Justice in the form of Christ's blood. Astoundingly, the balance levels itself.

"For while we were in the flesh, the sinful passions, which were aroused by the Law, were at work in the members of our body to bear fruit for death. But now we have been released from the Law, having died to that by which we were bound..." Romans 7:5,6

I was listening to the following hymn, when I was struck by the "smiling Justice" that prompted me to write this post. With flowing tears, I must have played the song three more times after that. Read it for yourself...

Let us love and sing and wonder
Let us praise the Savior's name
He has hushed the law's loud thunder
He has quenched Mt. Sinai's flame

Let us love the Lord who bought us
Pitied us when enemies
Called us by His grace and taught us
Gave us ears and gave us eyes

He has washed us with His blood
He has washed us with His blood
He has washed us with His blood
He presents our souls to God

Let us wonder grace and justice
Join and point to mercy's store
When through grace in Christ our trust is
Justice smiles and asks no more

He who washed us with his blood
He who washed us with his blood
He who washed us with his blood
Has secured our way to God

Let us praise and join the chorus
Of the saints enthroned on high
Here they trusted him before us
Now their praises fill the sky

He has washed us with his blood
He has washed us with his blood
He has washed us with his blood
He has washed us with his blood
He will bring us home to God

Based on a hymn by John Newton (1725-1807)

Trust and Obey

2009-09-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

While talking to my little one yesterday about why she must take a nap, I realized that when she disobeys my simple command to "go to bed," she is showing a lack of faith. When she finds some excuse to not do as she is told, then she is showing that she does not trust her provider (me.) As I shared this knowledge with her, I was struck by the weight of it. So many times truths do not become real to us until we can vocalize them.

Reading in Hebrews later that night, I discovered in 3:18,19, "And to whom did He swear that they should not enter His rest, but to those who were disobedient? And so we see that they were not able to enter because of unbelief." The context here is in reference to the Israelites in the wilderness, and that they did not enter His rest (the security of the promised land) because of their unbelief. But notice that these two verses are parallel statements, thereby making disobedience and unbelief interchangeable. Therefore, we must understand in our hearts that we cannot have one without the other.

We, also, are like little children desiring to choose our own path as if we know what is best. We say we are people of faith, but there is no fruit of submission, no turning away from our own interests, no trusting the Provider. Jesus Christ is our Sabbath rest; without Him we will surely labor in vain.

"And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness." Romans 4:3

"For as through the one man's [Adam] disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One [Jesus] the many will be made righteous." Romans 5:19

Belief=Obedience=Righteousness

"There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall through following the same example of disobedience." Hebrews 4:9-11

Another Birthday

2009-09-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

My Bella's birthday just happens to fall... on the first day of fall-- or Autumn Equinox, if you prefer. No matter what you call it, it is so good to move in to fall. Who among us in the South isn't ready to cool off? Not only that, but fall colors are just around the corner for us. Apple orchards, mountain drives, pumpkins, and my husband's personal favorite of fall--football. Bella Grace, who just turned five, started getting excited about the approaching football season back in August because she knew that her birthday was in its midst. Therefore, she associates football with her birthday. Imagine that.

I tend to feel overwhelmed at birthday time, but I have begun to realize that we should take nothing for granted but rather give praise to the One who has numbered our days. Many thank yous from Bella to those who made this week special!

First Days

2009-09-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

Some good
and not so good moments of homeschooling.

Ants Update

2009-09-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

I tried grits which worked for a few days, but the ants are back. They have completely infiltrated the dog food.

No worries, though, my kids are happy to have an ant farm...

Ants...and Love

2009-09-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

What do you know about ants?

Well, some are big and some are small. They may be red or black or reddish black or blackish red. They may build hills, trails, or hang out in trees. They may bite like a madman or just leave you with a creepy tickle. Then, there are the ones that come into your house...

It was rather funny, if you can call it that, to see my laundry room clothes heap swarming with ants. Several squeals from my kids alerted me to the fact that they had also paid a visit to the dog bowl. With unity of mind, the critters had formed a healthy regiment from somewhere around the dishwasher and continued along the floorboards, behind the refrigerator, and around the corner into the laundry room. In the midst of contemplating a solution to this year's Third Annual Ant Infestation, my focus gave way to a softer, deeper understanding of the plight of the ant.

"Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer, and gathers her provision in the harvest." Proverbs 6:6-8

It is true that ants' ways provide an example of focus and hard work, but what I like even more are the selfless acts they pursue. For a believer and follower of Christ, we must be willing to give up our own selfish desires and allow God to lead, yes, but we also must be willing to give up our own selfish desires about the church and allow the Holy Spirit to unify our hearts to one another. Philippians 2 must resound in the hearts of all those who profess Christ as He has spoken to His church:

"If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose." Philippians 2:1,2

And then in verses 3 and 4:

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

Does this remind you of my determined visitors? They are diligently working, but for the purpose of something much greater than a single ant. Honestly, if they were just in it for themselves there would probably be no need for them to work so hard, and they for sure wouldn't thrive the way they do. So then, we see the need for unity of believers. Not that we should let down our guard lest the wolves come in to devour our fellowship, but that we seek to edify our brothers and sisters and help them carry their load-- whether that be physical or spiritual.

The defining characteristic that we share with the Father, but not with the ant is love:

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 Corinthians 13:1

The quality that we do not share with God, but rather with the ant is this:

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12

Chapter Three: The Broken Heart

2009-08-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

“He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

Just as a farmer must break up the hard ground before planting, our hearts must be prepared before the Holy Spirit of God can do a work in us. The term “broken heart” is often used in literature to describe unrequited love. In actuality, a broken heart is absolutely necessary to acknowledge the sin of pride in our lives and humble ourselves in order that we might receive Love. God has already made atonement for our transgressions, but without our understanding that we are literally dead in our sin, much like the farmer’s fallow field, we have no hope for new life.

“A broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise.” Psalm 51:17

Why does God love a broken and contrite heart? Because it is a field fit for planting. A hard heart nullifies the cross of Christ and putrifies the powerful promises of God. This is the same stuff that brought a holy angel of God to be wholly wicked. It took a “good” creation and made it bad. It caused the first woman to desire to rule over her husband, and every woman after her. Call it what you want. I call it pride.

Pride leads us into believing the lies of Satan. It brought him down from his lofty position of servitude to God. He was not content with the place of honor that God had given him. He wanted more. This is where we come in. God created a “good” world. But because of the disobedience of Eve and, ultimately, Adam, sin was brought into the world and made it evil. Sin is a sickness leading to death. Not simply death of the body, but an eternal death. Pride is at the root of all sin. The same pride that brought down Satan also deceived Eve into thinking she could be like God. Had she even considered that all her needs were met and that she lived in a perfect world? She then persuaded her husband to follow. In their disobedience, they discovered that they were naked, their sickness exposed. The only way sin could be forgiven was through blood sacrifice, so God killed animals to cover Adam and Eve and their sin. This is the first death. Many rams, sheep and birds were offered upon the altar, thereafter, but none could atone for all the sins of mankind. The offerings fell short, until God himself came to the world as a man and paid the penalty of sin.

Without a broken heart, we are unable to see our sin for what it really is. It is the very thing that keeps us out of communion with our Creator. When we understand the truth about our filthy hearts, we can appreciate the grace by which God came to save us. He chose to die that we might obtain the free gift of eternal salvation and glory and communion with Him!

Entertaining Strangers

2009-08-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

If you want to hear from God, just listen. Sometimes He speaks in more than a whisper, but we are making too much noise to hear what He says.

"For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end; while it is said, 'Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts, as when they provoked Me [in the wilderness].'" Hebrews 3:14,15

As we headed down I-85 Sunday night after church, Mike and I were contemplating the possibility of moving to China. We had just been speaking to a missionary to China that Mike knew from his past trips. She was at home for a visit, and we met with her at church. Being at an occupational crossroads ourselves, we have been discussing many options along the way. This was one of those such conversations.

On approaching our exit, we spotted a carload in distress. The sight of people with car trouble is not all that uncommon, but as I watched some ladies hauling out luggage and setting it in the grass, I knew this group could use a hand. In a moment of spiritual discernment, Mike agreed and began to slowly roll the van back along the edge of the road to meet them. Selfishly, I hoped we could share our faith with the threesome as we left the running van full of kids. I must confess it has been a while since I shared with a stranger.

I was immediately struck by the irony of the situation as I saw the stranded strangers appeared to be Chinese. My thoughts were confirmed by their accents and, of course, in asking if they were from China. Divine appointment. They were headed back home to Houston, Texas. In fact, they weren't headed anywhere at the moment. The car had taken a blow to the median wall as the driver had been spooked by someone in the next lane. Both left tires were damaged. Thankfully, Mike got the front flat changed, and the car just managed to make it into our neighborhood a couple of miles away. I tell you, I am not making this up.

"For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in..." Matthew 25:35

I make no claims to storytelling, so I intend to keep this brief. It is not the details, but the heart of this circumstance that makes it significant. Over the next few hours that night, I experienced the most spontaneous form of hospitality that I am sure I have ever been a part of. My next door neighbor, Kim, who has a Chinese-Cambodian background herself, prepared a most wonderful meal for our guests (her family just happened to be eating very late that night.) She and her husband also welcomed one of our new friends to stay the night. The other two stayed with us.

That night, we had the car towed to another neighbor's service garage. The next day, the car was left behind, not worth the time and repairs that were needed, and Mike took our three friends to the airport for a rental car to drive home. But the time in between made all the difference. Mike and I were both able to plant seeds of hope within the hearts of our gracious guests. I pray the Holy Spirit would make Himself evident to them that they would come to know the Truth and be set free.

At the same time, I cannot speak enough of what a blessing these people were to us. And what a gift to share such a unique experience with my dear neighbors. My whole family was sad to see them go, but I also felt blessed to be able to live out the lesson that Mike Stiles taught on Sunday morning from James 2. "You see that faith was working with his [Abraham's] works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected..." (James 2:22) God will provide the opportunity for us to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12) But without His salvation all our works are as filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6)

Surely, God has spoken to us through this experience, whether it was to bless us with more Chinese friends in the States, or to lead us overseas in ministry, we do not know. What I do know is that I need to listen more closely and expect Him to speak.

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

No Looking Back

2009-07-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

It's easy to fall into the trap of looking back. The only benefit I receive from neck-craning is humility. To see how God has brought me from my ways (a deceitful and wicked path) to His ways (faith and righteousness) brings joy to my broken heart. That's humility. Without it, there can be no repentance.

Other than that, looking back is useless. Hope lies in what is ahead. We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God. This may not be our definition of "good," however, but God's definition trumps our definition every time. Suffering, sickness, yes, even death, are good when they fall under the plans and purposes God has to bring glory to Himself. I would assume that none of these things would fall under our definition of "good." Goodness to us is bound by time. God's goodness is eternal. If we struggle with this, we must consider our worldview. Are we willing to sacrifice our comfort, possessions, and life to follow the will of Him who created it all?

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:19-21

The Kuckel family reunion this past weekend has given me hope. Just as I now know there was hope for me, a slave to works and pride saved by grace, I see hope in the lives of these precious family members. My prayer is that we would be humbled by our past and broken before God, knowing that He has served a purpose in the past in order that we be united to Christ in His sufferings on the cross. And, at this point, that we would completely surrender our life to Christ and the power of His resurrection. Without the resurrection, there would be no new life, but death only.

Complete surrender means submitting our will to God. It means believing that His ways are higher than ours in all things. It means having a heart of repentance, knowing that we will fall, but being willing to confess our sins and accept discipline, if need be. Then we press on boldly, read the Word daily (we cannot live by the words of any other man if we do not first live by the Word of God, the Bread of Life), and live faithfully with hope for what is to come!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

A Special Day

2009-07-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

My twin sons, Benjamin and Joseph, celebrated their 8th birthday yesterday. I made a special Lego Luke Skywalker cake, and we had family come visit. I have to say, I have never in all my life seen so many Legos!

"Hear, my son, and accept my sayings, and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths, when you walk, your steps will not be impeded; and if you run, you will not stumble." Proverbs 4:10-12

Throw Off the Old Coat...

2009-07-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but every time I think I have everything figured out (life, husband, kids, people in general), the rug is yanked out from under me, and, falling to the ground, I think to myself, "How did I get into this mess?"

Such is the way of the last few days as I have tried with all my might to solve my "problem." Don't ask me what my problem is because I don't know. I have just been carrying on as if I have a problem for a long enough period of time to be annoying. Being the theological giant that I am, I have determined to give my problem a name--sin.

All of us fall into the trap of sin, and it can be very subtle. This is the old coat, the one we received through Adam which has been passed down for generations. Generations of people who thought they had it figured out, but held tightly to the rag of iniquity.

On our class blog (livingpr00f), Mike posted an excerpt from an article by Andree Seu as taken from World Magazine. I like what he posted, but I wanted to add one sentence that spoke to me. Seu writes, "I discovered that discouragement is a choice I make and not something that happens to me." We make the choice to sin, and we have a choice to be forgiven in the new coat of the cross of Christ. If you know in your very heart that you are forgiven--repent and rejoice! I had to be reminded to let the cross be my place of security, not my sin.

If you find yourself discouraged, dissatisfied, discontent or depressed, acknowledge it for what it is--sin. These things come out of making ourselves our idol. Don't stumble, as Israel did, over the purpose of the cross.

'"...but Israel, pursuing a law of righteousness, did not arrive at that law. Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as though it were by works. They stumbled over the stumbling stone, just as it is written, "Behold, I lay in Zion a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed."' (Romans 9:31-33)

Excerpt from Chapter Two: The Needy Heart

2009-07-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

“…the intent of man’s heart is evil from his youth…” Genesis 8:21

No one is good enough to gain eternal life. All of us have sinned, and all of us fall short of God’s glory. The Law of Moses was set up so that we can see clearly just how short we fall! Who can keep all the commandments in his own power and strength?

“For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.” James 2:10

Even if one was able to keep the whole law every moment of every day, he would become a slave to it and the freedom that comes through faith would be nullified. Would being a slave to the Law be any better than being a slave to sin? The actions may change, but the heart remains needy. Freedom from sin, as well as Law, means becoming a slave to righteousness (Romans 6).

A young man approached Jesus and asked how to inherit eternal life. After telling Jesus that he had kept the Commandments from his youth, Jesus asked him to sell all his possessions and give to the poor. The young man went away sad because he was very rich. Was it his wealth that prevented him from entering the kingdom of God? Surely not. The fact is he physically had everything he needed and yet his heart was needy. We all have needy hearts. Because we are unable to make the sacrifice on our own, Jesus had to make it for us. His shed blood covers all our sin.

“And I was once alive apart from the Law; but when the commandment came, sin became alive, and I died; and this commandment which was to result in life, proved to result in death for me; for sin, taking opportunity through the commandment, deceived me, and through it killed me.” Romans 7:9-11

About Freedom

2009-06-29T20:51:00.000-07:00

In a lesson entitled "Freedom is Free," Mike taught on Galatians 5:1-15 Sunday morning. He showed how the Judaizers (those so called believers that maintained that grace might be received through the Law) were teaching a different Gospel than that originally brought to the Galatians by Paul. More specifically, the Galatian church thought that circumcision might benefit their faith. Paul expresses in verse 3 that an attempt to keep part of the Law obligates a person to keep the whole Law and separates a soul from Christ (v. 4.) As we all should know, it is impossible to keep all the Law, and, even if we could, why would we want to separate ourselves from Christ?

This discussion segued into a living example of a life set free from works...me. I shared with the class how the Lord brought me from a restricted life justified by works into a life set free by grace. Prior to two years ago, my self-worth was based on doing right and being right. The key is to notice that I was actually serving myself and my pride. Unfortunately, this pattern of living is fruitless and leads to guilt and depression, as it did for me.

"For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" Romans 7:22-24

Submitting my life to Christ has meant giving up control in the most wonderful way. In turn, I have received true freedom. Freedom from guilt. Freedom to be wrong. Freedom to submit to my husband. Freedom to share my faith. Freedom to guard my words. Freedom to repent and live forgiven! It is no longer about me, but Christ living in me.

"Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:25

Spiritual Warfare

2009-06-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

In the midst of seeking new business opportunities and, ultimately, God's will, Mike ran in to a bit of a road block yesterday. Literally.

A young man pulling out of a parking lot missed the brake and floored it into the passenger side of our van. By the grace of God, the kids and I were at home. (Notice the loaner truck.) Mike is feeling alright as far as I can tell, but I cannot help thinking that a seemingly random accident may not be so random after all.

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

I have also been reminded of God's chastening of those He loves. I know that He directs our path, and when we stray off course, He is faithful to redirect us.

We shall see how all of it plays out, but in the meantime, He has redirected me in a very specific way. Originally, I began writing out of a passion to share the freedom of the Gospel. Over the course of several months, I began to feel as if I had lost my first love. My adoration of the Word had morphed into a lust for writing! Last night, He convicted me of my misguided way of allowing my writing to become an idol. I am committed to writing only after I have spent time in the Word. The correction is to me a precious gift.

"Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death. But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life." Romans 6:21-22

Riding Bikes

2009-06-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

Both boys are now riding bikes sans training wheels. Good job Ben and Joey!

Perhaps we can all learn from these seven (almost eight!) year old boys. All of us have something we are unwilling to release. When Mike removed the training wheels, Ben ran out ready to ride like a pro. He quickly found out it was not so easy. He was defeated and refused to try again for days. Joey, on the other hand, from the start wanted nothing to do with the newly remodeled bike. But when left alone, his sense of intrigue drew him to the strange, unfamiliar beast that beckoned from the garage.

We hold on so tight to the things of this world, that when they are taken from us, we lose heart. Perhaps they are taken from us so that we can go to the next level. Let go of the training wheels!

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

Excerpt from Chapter One: The Unworthy Heart

2009-06-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

“So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.” Romans 9:16

If I have not been made for service, in other words, to glorify God by sharing the good news, then I have been made in vain. “For you were called to freedom brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13) So, in the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8)

Isaiah’s heart was ready to serve, but his message was difficult. He had to go and tell the people that they would not be able to receive the blessing of the Lord until all Israel was desolate and forgotten. Then, there would be nothing left but the holy seed of God which would live on through the line of king David and would one day take on His own flesh as an Israelite to deliver His people. Isaiah lived 800 years before Christ’s birth. He did not live to see the people delivered from their sins. Furthermore, the people did not want to hear what he had to say. As the Lord spoke to Isaiah in chapter 6, “Render the hearts of this people insensitive…” (v. 10) The people were physically and spiritually unable to receive the message of repentance because the Lord declared that they would have insensitive hearts, or, literally, “fat” hearts.

Our message tells the people of this age that they are not unlike the Israelites of 2800 years ago. But the difference is for what purpose we share this news. We can boldly proclaim that God came to earth in the form of a human and limited Himself as a human and died a human’s death to take on our sin. And, the most glorious part of the story, that He defeated death by rising to life again. Now and forevermore, our Savior lives!